My daughter is entering the teens’ world. I have
noticed that she is getting more and more conscious about her looks and her
changing body: The time she spends in the bathroom is getting annoyingly longer
and longer; the images of her idols are filling up her room; her moods are
changing faster than the Göteborg’s weather… A few days ago she came home from
school and looked low. First she refused to say anything to me but went directly
into her room. I waited, knowing she would be back soon.
‘Mum, do you think I am pretty
enough?’ She looked at me half seriously, then lowered her voice, ‘ I think my face is not pretty enough, and my breasts are not big enough… the
girls in my class have already boyfriends…’
‘My silly girl,’ I took her into
my arm, ‘ I think you are pretty enough; and don't worry, you are going to get your breasts
and your boyfriend... '
She didn’t look assured at all. I could
read what was going on in her mind. It can’t be easy for any young girl like her to navigate in this complex world with
the enormous amount of information, impressions and opinions streaming their
way 7/24, via the people around them like friends, parents, teachers etc., via
Facebook/ Instagram / TV the various media channels etc.… How
can we know the real intentions behind any given opinions or
ideas? How can we see through the hidden agendas behind the information coming our
way? Have we questioned about how the social collective behaviors are
influencing our behaviors as an individual? Have we ever doubted about own thoughts
if it is originated from our own mind or from the others?... I
am sure that we all have experienced things like this: You may think
that you have not been paying attention to the advertisement about Colgate
toothpaste on TV every night, yet by the time you are standing in the shop
facing many different toothpaste brands, you would most likely choose Colgate,
just because it sounds familiar somehow… Isn’t it a bit frightening how easily
our mind can be manipulated, on many conscious or unconscious levels?!
My dear, as you are getting more
interested in your appearance and your attractiveness, i think it is time that we can take a closer
look at this whole attraction thing together. Attractiveness is a very
subjective thing: What is attractive to one person doesn’t mean attractive for
another; what is considered beautiful in one place/during one period doesn’t
automatically make it beautiful in other places/during other periods. So
there is NO such thing as THE ‘Beauty Mode’. For example, in the old days in China, the
ladies with smaller feet were considered beautiful and sexy. So many young
girls at their early ages were forced to have their feet bones broken and bandaged tightly all together going through the excruciating pain … in the end those girls got their desired small feet but they could
hardly walk anymore… Do you see how absurd we can be, in the name of
beauty or attraction?! Today we are living in a so called modern society, however it seems
that we haven’t learnt smarter: Just look around, every day how many girls/ladies around the world are cutting up their faces/bodies going through the pain in order to look attractive for the others?! Some years' ago I was surprise by how many Chinese ladies
are flying to Korea for reconstructing their eastern faces western, to make
their small lips fuller like Angelina Jolie, due to the Hollywood influences? Yet, Can you imagine some centuries ago, the
small lips were worshiped among many Asian ladies? It was said that a small
mouth was synonym of great seduction... So, when you desire to be on the
top of your appearance, may I ask which trend, which beauty mode shall you follow then?
Shall you make your lips fuller first, then smaller some years later? Think
about this: If, all the girls have got fuller lips, you don't think that the
small lips will be back in fashion in no time?! That is how the mechanism of
the business works- always feeding onto people’s unfulfilled dreams and desires...
Who knows? Maybe one day in the future, physical attractiveness will be less interesting factor for
measuring one’s attractiveness. Allow me think it aloud: What if , the human's collective consciousness has raised to such a height; the knowledge about the quantum physics and the
energy science has been generally understood and applied to such a degree; energy(aura) readings from the human's energy body, or you call it- the electromagnetic field become such a norm for the human society-since everything is some form of energy and vibration, from your thoughts to your emotions etc., which means the aura can very well reflect the vibration of one's soul... Edgar Cayce said once:... As the souls of individuals travel though the realms of being they shift and change their patterns as they use or abuse the opportunities presented to them. Thus at any time, a soul will give off through vibrations the story of itself and the condition in which it now exists. If another consciousness can apprehend those vibrations and energies, they will be able to understand the status of her/his being , or the progress she/he has made... I guess, by that time, since any physical beautification will have little effect in hiding one's true soul color, thus most likely, the beautiful aura emitted naturally from a beautiful soul will be most admired and sought after...
‘ Wouldn’t that be COOL?’ I asked my
girl enthusiastically.
‘No, mum!’ My teenage daughter shook at her head giving
a look at her ‘crazy’mother...
Well, as I am writing right now, another interesting
aspect comes to my mind- In the rich Chinese vocabulary there are many ways to
describe a beautiful girl for example: good looking, pretty, beautiful, sexy etc., but
there is another unusual expression - ‘气质(which
means literately, Qi quality)’. It is supposed to be difficult to describe that kind of attractiveness : It is said in this world, there are
many many pretty and sexy girls, but very few with attractive Qi Quality; it was said one's Qi quality can improve with the growth of the soul; it was said that a good Qi quality can seem subtle yet so penetrating to any soul who she is in touch with; it was said that she , whopossesses that kind of Qi quality, is like an ancient Chinese poem - the
more you chew it, the more fragrance it will bring forth to
you…
Unfortunately I don’t think that kind of subtle
beauty is as much appreciated in our modern times. Today’s taste is all
about the sexual attractiveness- the bolder and the louder the better; the more revealing and the more direct the
more attractive it is. I don’t want to go into that, you probably know what I mean anyway. Well, my concern is: wherever the attention is placed, energy moves there- when we place
too much attentions on our sexual attractiveness and sexual performances, our
two lowest energy centers which govern survival instincts and reproduction will
be most activated, like most of the animals do. To me, it would be such a huge waste
not to try to have the other five less material energy centers activated as much, since we human beings are blessed (or cursed)with the mind, which have the great potential transform our grosser energy lighter and move our energy upwards with the workings of our own mind, and our own energy system consciously - that is so called human energy alchemy! I believe, it is within each soul’s designed purpose,
through the chosen sojourns, trying to perfect its souls by refining its soul energy, and by working ultimately towards the compatibility and the final reunion with the ALL-Loving God energy... Yet, quite often for the earthly souls, the pulls from the
physical temptations and the worldly influences and conditionings can be so
overwhelming, so we keep astray from our intended paths and keep forgetting who we truly are,
and our true soul plans…
One day, hopefully you will
understand better what I am talking about, my dear. As all the physical
existence being governed by the physical laws has its limitations of time and space.
In another words, no matter how pretty your face is; how gorgeous body you have
today, it will decay one day… there is no magic face cream nor the most
advanced plastic surgery can stop it from happening. So if that is all how you
have lived your life-only conscious of your body and only conscious of your physical existence, then you are basically setting yourself for the disappointments in your later years when you can no
longer identify yourself with your body attractiveness, or your physical existence... There is a reason why Taichi master
Jason Chan, who I believe, has pretty good understanding about human energy work said something like this once: When someone tries too much to
impress you with her/his sexual attractiveness , do watch out!
I am not
an antique mother. I have no intention of stopping you from experimenting with your physical attractiveness- trying new colors on the hair; trying makeups or clothing to maximize your feature…I get it, it can be fun, plus it is your birthright as a girl! I enjoy beautiful clothing and trying new staffs myself as well. Just keep in mind, that the aesthetic taste expressed through your physical existence can serve only as one small aspect of your soul expressions, there are more to it-discover them!... Let me put
it in this way: You were passing by a bookstore, your eyes got really caught
by a book displayed at the window. You thought to yourself: What a beautiful
cover that book has! It must have a beautiful and exciting story inside… Then
you bought that book home and started reading, but to your disappointment, the
story was boring and unimaginative, so in the end you never finished that book… I hope you will never become such
a book – only attractive on the outside but not attractive inside! Because, even the physical attractiveness can work to your advantage initially , it can only work to the certain degree, and it is just matter of time the initial excitement (no matter how perfect that face/body is) will become boring if there is nothing more to its 'fasade', that is simply human's nature…
But please don’t get too discouraged
now, my dear. There is another kind of attraction, which operates totally
different from the physical attraction, is called the soul attraction. Since
that level of attraction comes from the deep within one’s soul, it has the
potential to grow stronger and shine brighter with the growth of the soul
towards its own perfection... If you want to get a taste that kind of
timeless attraction in your lifetime, you better start with yourself NOW! Though, you may still get lost or frustrated from time to time, try not to let anyone tell you that you are
not good enough; pretty enough; smart enough or fast enough anymore! Keep working with reconnecting with your soul, your center, your innermost being, you will know
for yourself that just YOU are more than enough!
