the Mystical Union

 

I remember ,

Long long ago I had a beautiful dream.

In the dream I felt so cradled and loved-

by an ocean of Great Love endless and limitless…

I was loved for all my perfections

as well as all my imperfections;

I was loved for my strength and accomplishments-

as well as my weakness and vulnerabilities;

I was loved not just for my body or my intellect or my virtue;

I was loved for who I AM, the totality of ME;

I was loved without judgment or condition or any aftermath;

I was loved with total acceptance and total freedom…

 

Yet, When I woke up to this world  with so much excitements-

yet with so much confusions and disorientations,

sometimes this so called reality felt more like a dream to me-

or more like a nightmare which I couldn't wake up from…

Lifetime after lifetime I was in and out of this world,

Though I have had glimpses of love –

which had some resemblances to the Great Love once I knew

but many more times with the complications followed by

sorrow and disappointments like terrible shadows hidden behind of the claims of love as I became familiar with-

People claimed to be my protector yet abandoned me when I needed them most;

People claimed to be my friends yet stabbed my back when the interest was in the play;

People claimed to love me yet betrayed me with all kinds of excuses and conditions...

 

Oh, how much tears shed are called enough?!

Oh, how many times of heart breaks are called enough?!

Oh, how many lifetimes of repeating the cycle are called enough?!...

The kind of human love can be so desirable yet so challenging;

The kind of human love can be so wonderful yet so painful;

The kind of human love can ease my thirst temporarily  -

yet it can never quite quench the thirst  within my soul-

even though I was not sure  what I was looking for at the time

but I have had the inner knowing all along that there is more to everything for sure …

I should have known better but I did not always act better as blinded by love-

As people can only understand me at the level of they understanding themselves;

So people can only love me at the level of they loving themselves -

more than that, simply can’t.

 

It has been always my own stubbornness-

that I couldn’t let go of the desire of re-experiencing and re-creating

the dream of that perfect Love even on this physical plane-

there is remembrance of 'heaven on earth' buried deeply in my soul consciousness-

 which I knew it is possible even everyone else told me otherwise...

So I kept seeking

So I kept dreaming

So I kept fighting ...

But instead of feeling moving closer and closer to my dream 

I watched my dream moving further and further by the reality of the world;

I watched my life force slowly draining away to a point of exhaustion-

my body had become too weary to take another punch;

my heart had become too broken to take another sword;

my soul had become too burdened to take any more karmic burdens…

 

In that breaking point of trying to save my own sanity,

I withdrew my energy from the outer world and returned to myself-

especially the unloved part of me, the wounded child in me..

So I was forced to re-evaluate all my attached ideas and beliefs

about myself, others, life and about my goals and dreams…

In that breaking point between my past, present and future

Unexpectedly things started to move again,

I could sense the restoring of my energy level day after day -

as if all the energies used to project outwards started to be pulled back to me;

I could even feel the restoring of my soul fragments in many subtle ways-

as if all the soul fragments lost in time and space started to be called back to me…

 

And the most unexpectedly thing was-

my previous visions started to come back to me-

like an old flame reawakened by the wordless words whispering in my dream:

‘My Beloved one,

If you could see what we see

If you could know what we know

You would never doubt again if you are loved or not…

You came from the ocean of the infinite Big Love(not the small human love),

You were made from the eternal divine love (not the fleeting human love),

There has no need for you to seek love outside of you in order to feel complete,

because you are already that Love

and you are already complete…

 

It is your human mind-

which make you feel the need to venture to different worlds in order to find your way home;

It is your human mind-

which make you feel the need to go on far land pilgrims in order to find your lost love;

It is your human mind-

which you glorify so much in your world has caused major downfalls for many earthly souls;

It is your human mind –

which make you unable to see through the veils because often it stands in your own way of perceiving the Truth- as you are falling in love with all the glittery gifts bestowed upon you but you could not perceive the Giver, the bestower behind all the gifts… HE/SHE (God/Goddess, Divine father/mother)/the Spirit (whatever you prefer the name)desires to be loved by you unconditionally as much as you desire to be loved unconditionally- not to love HIS/HER gifts but also love HIM/HER with all your heart… because this HE/SHE is the greatest LOVER behind all the lovers, in this world and in the beyond …

Thus no matter how long and how far you has journeyed away from HIM/HER, deep within every soul there is a grand divine design of an individual soul innately seeking for its union with its Maker- the great Spirit HE/SHE, seeking for returning to its source, to its original status of being - feeling that eternal peace and blissfulness in that endless, limitless ocean of Love of the Spirits… This is called the soul's homecoming in many ancient esoteric traditions - the mystical and the sacred union between the individual Soul and the All-knowing, All-loving Spirit...

So my beloved one, you would not believe-

How long, how patiently we have been waiting for your return-

that how many more times to have your heart broken to realize your own value?

that how many more lessons you have to repeat to release all your attachments?

that how much more time to exhaust yourself -

 in seeking the love outside of you which is already inside of you?!...

When you are ready to face the truth who you really are and where you are really going,

When you allow the Spirit take lead of your mind, body-

your soul will be released from the prison of your mind and your body, finally.

Your soul comes alive again- rejoiced and utterly free 

Your soul comes home again- long sought after reunion... 

Only when you have come to the term of the sacred union  with yourself- 

all lost parts of your selfs (your light and your shadows, your soul and the Spirit)

then you will be able to truly come to terms with the union of the human love-

Good or bad- all adds to the colors and the fullness of your soul in the end...''