A date with my inner child

‘‘The mass crushes beneath it everything which is different, everything that is excellent, individual, qualified, and select. Anybody who is not like everybody, who does not think like everybody,                   runs the risk of being eliminated.’’

 --- Ortega y Gasset            

 

What a strange world we are living in-

it has its ways to make things good bad or bad good;

it has its ways to make a kindness like a weakness;

it has its ways to make lightheartedness seem

foolish and incompetent…

 

For such a very long time, my dear inner child

though I have known your sorrow

though I have known your frustrations

though I have known your loneliness

though I have known how this world has been unkind to you

unfortunately I was the part of that world-

thinking you are just being too dramatic, too needy

too demanding, too sensitive, too this or too that…

In truth, I could not admit to myself-

Behind all the compromises of myself was

that desperate desire of trying to fit in this world;

and behind that desperate desire was a very wounded inner child of mine

desperately longing for being loved and accepted …

For such a long time, my dear inner child

I have betrayed you-

because I could not face you

because you were my trauma, my wound

and my deepest secret…

 

Forgive me, my dear inner child-

for having been such a coward and such a fool

for not having understood my own ignorance-

that I may be able to run away from the entire world

yet I can never ever be able to run away from you,

from my own self, my own being…

 

Forgive me, my dear inner child

I will never again turn my back to you even the whole world does;

I will never again silence you even the others try to;

I will be there ready to wipe your tears when you are let down;

I will be there ready to laugh with you even the others are there laughing at you;

I will be there ready to hold you loving you whenever you feel unworthy or unloved…

 

So how are you doing today, my darling?

Are you feeling little blue right now?

What about me taking you out for a date-

escape from all the must-do seriousness of life for a moment?

get away from all the rigidity, dullness and rules for a while?

What about  diving into the deep blue sea

chasing some beautiful mermaid?

Or, what about riding the winged house Pegasus

playing with the rainbow halo under the sun?

Or, what about you and me having some caramel popcorn

enjoying some quiet cozy time together under the shining stars ?…

 

My dear inner child,

You are the spark of God Mother/Father of me

You are the divine essence of me

You are unbound by the universe

Yet I have tried to bound you by the worldly rules...

You came with me into this world-

with your brilliant divine light and joyful lightness

then you shall leave this world with me

with the same untainted light and lightness…

as this is my promise to you, my dear inner child

No more tears of sorrow

No more separation

Not in this incarnation!

 

This game of life we are playing here on earth

No matter how cold, heavy, cruel or hopeless at times

It is just a game, in the end

No matter how good, how real holographically it may feel like at times

It is still just a game, in the end

 

So let’s not take this short human life too deadly seriously!

Let's have some fun and find some humor at the same time-

even in the midst of greyness and darkness!

Let's try to keep our heart light like a feather

even though it has its bleedings and patches

(which may has made it more fit for a heart of a wounded warrior, hahaha)

Let’s keep shaking off any darkness or heaviness 

Let’s leave them to where they belong

Because, where we are going has no place for them…

 

My dear inner child,

Let's drop everything going out for a date

Let's stop being a responsible adult for a second

Let's just be silly having some silly laughter

Let me see  what you are really made of...

Because, I 'd like very much to see -

a better world, a more beautiful world 

through your wondrous eyes...

Love💖