My dear mother/father God,
It was long long ago,
since I prayed and communicated with you…
When I experienced the pains around caused by the
wicked;
When I saw the pain affiliated toward each other by
men of this world;
When I heard the cries from the innocent animals being
butchered;
When I witnessed the abuse and destructions of the
mother earth..
I was furious with you-
What kind of God are you?!
How could you-
allow such horrible things happening in your domains?!...
So I rebelled against you
And I became a godless soul…
Even though there was indescribable longing and pain
which silently resides within my soul-
which no riches of the world
no distractions of man’s games can relieve me from
that kind of deep longing and deep pain-
which seemed to be interwoven into each cell memory of
my very being..
So ages after ages, lives after lives,
I was not really living but simply surviving and
existing
aimless and goal-less
My soul was drifting on the surface of those dark
waters ghostly,
as if at any moment I would be swallowed by the stormy
waves
and fell into the abyss of the blackness…
Yet it was always YOU
Who showed me the beauty of the world
when I thought there was no real beauty to be found;
It was always YOU
who are there holding me and wiping my tears
when I found there was no one there for me;
It was always YOU
who gave me strength and courage
when there was no hope to be found;
It was always YOU,
who you have loved me
so dearly and so unconditionally…
What a fool I was..
Like birds leaving their mother’s nest,
Even though she knows the danger-
her babies are going to face without her protection
Some may not even survive through a day
Yet she has to let them go and test their own wings…
Sometimes the unconditional love is –
not about keeping but about letting go..
Yes, what a fool I have been-
thought I could be without your love
thought I could create without you
Yet, every foolish journey of mine was supported by you-
Otherwise I would not be here at all...
My dear mother/father God,
It was I that have forgotten about you,
You could never have forgotten about me ;
It was my human-ness that created things other than
Love
You can never create anything other than LOVE…
Finally, a fool is ready to come home...
