A fool's Journey

 

My dear mother/father God,

It was long long ago,

since I prayed and communicated with you…

 

When I experienced the pains around caused by the wicked;

When I saw the pain affiliated toward each other by men of this world;

When I heard the cries from the innocent animals being butchered;

When I witnessed the abuse and destructions of the mother earth..

I was furious with you-

What kind of God are you?!

How could you-

allow such horrible things happening in your domains?!...

 

So I rebelled against you

And I became a godless soul…

Even though there was indescribable longing and pain

which silently resides within my soul-

which no riches of the world

no distractions of man’s games can relieve me from

that kind of deep longing and deep pain-

which seemed to be interwoven into each cell memory of my very being..

 

So ages after ages, lives after lives,

I was not really living but simply surviving and existing

aimless and goal-less

My soul was drifting on the surface of those dark waters ghostly,

as if at any moment I would be swallowed by the stormy waves

and fell into the abyss of the blackness…

 

Yet it was always YOU

Who showed me the beauty of the world

when I thought there was no real beauty to be found;

It was always YOU

who are there holding me and wiping my tears

when I found there was no one there for me;

It was always YOU

who gave me strength and courage

when there was no hope to be found;

It was always YOU,

who you have loved me

so dearly and so unconditionally…

What a fool I was..

 

Like birds leaving their mother’s nest,

Even though she knows the danger-

her babies are going to face without her protection

Some may not even survive through a day

Yet she has to let them go and test their own wings…

Sometimes the unconditional love is –

not about keeping but about letting go..

 

Yes, what a fool I have been-

thought I could be without your love

thought I could create without you

Yet, every foolish journey of mine was supported by you-

Otherwise I would not be here at all...

 

My dear mother/father God,

It was I that have forgotten about you,

You could never have forgotten about me ;

It was my human-ness that created things other than Love

You can never create anything other than LOVE…

Finally, a fool is ready to come home...