If there were Maybe

                                                                               Maybe

I had to be foolish enough

to lose you first,

in order to realize -

how much you are meant for me

Maybe

I had to get fed up with -

keeping running away from myself first,

in order to –

get close to my self

 Maybe

I had to be tested -

through various trials and detours first,

in order to –

have my faith strengthened

 Maybe

I had to exhaust myself -

in all the doings and fixings first,

in order to –

appreciate just in being

Maybe

I had to experience necessarily -

the ugliness, the selfishness first,

in order to –

treasure the true beauty 

and the true love

 Maybe

I had to walk through life’s dark valleys

with the dreadful sickness,

the withering youth,

and the fearful death,

in order to –

learn and master the art of letting go

Maybe

I had to make myself aware enough of –

the sufferings and hypocrisies around ,

and the endless sorrow in my own heart first,

in order to –

fire up the desire to heal the others

through healing my own broken heart

 Maybe

I had to get tired of  myself -

carrying those old heavy baggages 

around and around first,

in order to –

be ready to make the space for the new

 Maybe

I had to experience –

the inner unrests and discontents first,

in order to –

open for my soul’s workings

 Maybe

I had to foot thousands miles -

seeking and questioning first,

in order to 'wow' at -

My highest truth is already

within each breath of mine

 Maybe

I had to struggle through life after life

towards my perfection for the worth first,

just in order to –

understand God's grand humor-

Everything is already at its perfect place;

I AM already perfect as I AM

Love Energy

       

               Last week after an interpretation job in Halmstad, I drove my way back to Gothenburg. When I reached the outskirt of the city was rush hour time. The traffic flow was getting especially slower before the Tingstadtunnel as usual, I hoped that it could pick up some speed after the tunnel as it would normally, but not this time, instead it came almost to a complete stop. I had to brake because the big truck in front of me stopped and then maneuvered strangely to the side as if trying to avoid something, even the cars from the other lanes were behaving strangely… The first thought came to me was some accident just happened so I rolled my car slowly and carefully forward, but what I saw next was totally unexpected- In the middle of the road there were an army of ducks trying to cross the motorway! It looked like the mummy duck was leading the way, and the little ones were following tightly behind their mum, completely unaware of this suicidal crossing with the jungle of the running cars! … I looked at those cute yellowish ducks and gasped: This motorway has 3 lanes on each side, it seemed those ducks somehow had managed to cross the lanes of dense traffic without being smashed! People or stopped or slowed down or carefully have their cars maneuvered around the ducks, or waited patiently for them passing…  Something warm was streaming through my heart: It may seem to be of little significance to have those small duck lives helped , but to me, the act of the kindness, no matter how small it is, it has always its significance! Just because of the small kindness like this, it makes human’s life more worth of living...

            Until today the eastern concept of Chi(energy) remains mysterious to many western minds, and the energy work remains unfamiliar to many, except for a few energy scientists; quantum physicians; martial artist or a few Qigong practitioners, meditators who have gained some degrees of understanding of this mysterious yet most common thing in our life- energy (Chi). As Albert Einstein says: ‘ Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you can not help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.’ I have no intention to argue if energy is matter of philosophy or physics. It is not important. The importance is that everything in the universe is indeed energy and vibrations, though each with different energy composition and vibration frequency - from a flower to a rock; from an animal to a human being; from a pictures to a music; from a word to a thought… Yet as always, its love energy has the highest vibration while the energy of hatred or fear has the lowest!

          As you might have known, there is a famous rice experiment conducted by Dr. Masaru Emoto. He divided the cooked rice into 2 different jars and labeled respectively with ‘I love you’ and another with ‘I hate you’. 30 days later, the jar labelled with ‘ I love you’ was barely changed while the one labelled with ‘ I hate you’ became moldy and rotten! 

          Thus, LOVE is a universal language, it can be understood even without words: you can understand it in the eyes of a mother looking at her baby; you can understand it at the touches between the lovers; you can understand it through the gestures of kindness… Even you may not have any grasp of the energy concept, you can still understand the love and feelings derived from different energy bodies: For example, when you are with a certain person, you kinda feel like your energy being drained and left you feel heavy and fatigue; while there is another person you have experienced- whenever she he enters the room, your spirit and the others in the room get uplifted, as if there is something special about her/him that draws people like magnet without even knowing , and you have always felt comforted and happier in and after her/his presence …

          There are subtle energy exchanges happening constantly, though we have too little knowledge or too little awareness about it, yet it has greater-than-we think influences on our lives on many conscious and unconscious levels. With this kind of flowing energy interactions, we are being constantly influenced and influencing the other energy bodies around us... there is not a single energy entity can exist by itself, all the energies are here for playing, like an eternal dance waltzing in and waltzing out, with no beginning nor ending…

          If we humans can response to energies in such a way; if the rice can response to love in such a way; there is not hard to understand that all the things in the natural worlds can response in such a way, including the vegetation and animals. If we take a look at the food on our table: Before the vegetables are served, they have absorbed the energies from the sun, the earth, the rain, the various elements in the nature, but they have also absorbed the energies from the humans who have grown them… and so it is with animals. If an animal has been treated badly and been slaughtered brutally, there must be some tremendous negative energy resided in their flesh, and when they become food and their energies will be transformed into our human bodies… Though today there are not much concrete scientific proofs saying how energy is transformed from one entity to another and how energy health is linked to human’ health physically, mentally and even spiritually. I believe it will be much known in the future generations. Since energy can never die but be transformed, so everything goes around comes around!

           Once I was told about the myth of God-creation, how Adam and Eve were tempted by a serpent and ate the forbidden fruit, then they were banished from the Garden of Eden… At the time I thought it was ridiculous that the grownups are trying to fool each other with a story meant for a five-year-old- ...until a bit later when I rediscovered their hidden meanings by interpreting them as metaphorical form instead of the tangible fact-based form, then all the myth tales started to become more fascinating to me… in this case, I would prefer to interpret this myth as - Once we all came from the pure and the perfected energy- only knowing love and goodness...until we have experienced all kinds of ‘serpent’s temptations’during our physical incarnations- so we have learned about the physical sensual pleasures and indulgences; so we have learnt about the evils and sufferings; so we have learnt about egos and separations... without the guidance of our higher self, without knowing our true spirit, our energy started to flow downwards, gravitating toward the root chakra center which majorly focus on physical survival and existence(what a tremendous waste of the other energy centers embodied in human beings?!); and all the negative emotional energies we have inherited or developed during our lifetimes will consequently cause our vibrations falling lower and lower… If it is said that we humans can’t return to the ‘ Garden of Eden’, it is not because there are the ruthless Gods guarding the gate and keeping human beings out, but because our own energy level and our vibrations are no longer compatible with the God energy and the highest vibration of love!

          Just like it is important to improve our physical health by cutting down the junkie food, so it is with the heath of our energy body - by cutting down the energy junkies, both outside and inside us; by guarding what we say, what we do and how we think etc.; by letting the negativeness through us without judging or condemning… And it will surely get easier and more natural, once this conscious effort being accepted by our subconscious.

            I remember at first when I made my conscious decision to be a vegetarian, the initial idea was more of that I felt sorry for the animals... but after many years of not consuming meat products, to my own surprise that my physical health has improved incredibly ( If I would look at the past 10 years, I can hardly recall when was my last time with even a bad cold… which it is incredible in itself because I had been always sick throughout my entire childhood!) It may be left for further discussions if this is credited only to the change of my diet or not, but I have been more aware of and more sensitive towards the fluctuations of my own energy - like certain food ( especially the meat products)are simply no longer compatible with my system… thus it has become more natural and more effortless for me to be a vegetarian, without struggle or the sense of sacrificing... I assume that energy works the similar way: Once you start to work with your own energy, your awareness and sensitivity of energy inside you and around you will be increased gradually; then it will be easier for you to catch up the clues of the negative energies arising inside or outside of you; then it will be easier for you to redirect the energy consciously towards love and the other positive energies… As whatever you turn your intention away from, that energy will be weakened; as whatever you turn your attention towards, that energy will be strengthened …

           I remember a story about the legendary Kongfu master Xi Hezi- when he was a young man that he told people that he was going to master an impossible Kongfu technique called ‘One-Finger-Energy-Punch’, of course everyone laughed at him. But 40 years later, his one finger punch could even penetrate the brick wall! Just imagine, how powerful that would be if we can focus our life energy only on love!... So let us focus on love and extend kindness to the others and ourselves, no matter how insignificant it may seem, and let us be one who can truly radiate this kind of loving energy into the world: to the flowers; to the trees, to the rocks; to the insects; to the animals; to the stars and to the people… I believe, by being such a human being will make you truly the KING of your own kingdom in the end!

Self Deception

Prague’s evening breeze in May –

was comfortable to the skin and romantic to the heart;

The old gas lighted Charles bridge with the Castle as backdrop

seemed fairytalelike enchanting and alluring…

Sitting at the white clothed table by the river bank

with candled lights and champagne colored roses spreading the sweetness in the air;

Hearing the soft music playing in the background;

Watching the still active moving crowds on the bridge-

and the lights reflected from the bridge glittering beautifully on the water…

The waiters were busy in attending the guests with their sweet smiles;

The smart dressed and well mannered guests were enjoy a perfect Prague evening;

Everything seemed beautiful and harmonious…

Isn’t life wonderful? I could not help feeling a bit hypnotized…

Suddenly some strange sound out of tune arose in the restaurant -

A drunken man managed to get into the restaurant from nowhere!

His clothes looked dirty and shabby;

His eyes were red and his hair looked wild;

His mouth were bubbling something loudly…

In no time security guards came and grabbed his arm,

the poor man seemed confused while being dragged away pretty roughly;

Elegant ladies and gentlemen in the restaurant frowned-

and looked disturbed and disgusted;

Waiters came apologizedly for the unpleasant incident…

After a while everything returned to the normal again

as if that drunken man has never existed!

But I could not -

the food was becoming less tasty;

the bridge was becoming less enchanting;

those beautiful well-mannered people around me

suddenly became hypocritical to my taste;

even the apologetic smiles from the waiters and waitresses

suddenly made them look like poor actors and actresses…

I have had my mind caught in the middle of processing

from feeling sorry for that poor man,

to feeling guilty that I was the one sitting at the table

while he was the one being thrown out;

from trying to justify the situation so I could return to my ‘perfect world’(my own hypocrisy!),

to battling myself to see through the self-deceptions and illusions going on in my own mind!

What had really changed ?

the food was the same;

the Charles bridge was the same;

people were the same;

It was the same ME …

But my whole experience has changed;

and the whole reality of ‘life is wonderful’ has changed into something less wonderful!

It could not be more clear to me-

that it has been always my own mind

which keeps creating different experiences and different realities at different times!

Could this be the root of the human sufferings, the downfall of the humanity-

that we have too little understanding of the nature of our own mind?!

That we fail to understand the duality of the human’s mind–

both lower mind and higher mind are entangled yet difficult to distinguish from;

As the lower mind is manipulative associates closely with the desires and egos,

and easily being led by the impulses from the physical senses;

while the higher mind can neither be manipulated nor deceived-

because it is the higher aspect of our self (soul aspect)

which doesn’t really belong to us yet keeps serving us as divine inspirations 

when we are in tune with our soul purpose!

Unfortunately through the human history-

many times those lower minds have succeed to gain upper hand over the high minds…

This is why Michael Jackson could have attracted more attention than Laotz;

That’s why Amsterdam window girls could have attracted more admirers than Jesus;

That’s why someone like Pewdiepie could even have more followers

than the Gautama Buddha……

At times I am pretty pessimistic about humanity-

because of the understanding of the destructive power within us -

knowing if we allow the impulses from our lower mind dictating us,

our egos will grow bigger;

our desires will grow stronger;

the light of our souls will grow weaker…

the human world will lose its peace and go into chaos…

‘Armageddon’ will not just be a metaphor anymore but

a pretty close prediction according to the patters of humanity development!

But at other times I am also pretty optimistic about humanity-

because of the understanding of the creative power within us-

by understanding the nature of human’s mind:

if our lower mind can be easily manipulated,

why not manipulate it in a more creative and positive way instead?!

(Just like redirecting energy if there is no way to destroy it.)

So if we can choose to BELIEVE regardless our current situations-

that we are abundant even we are not at this moment;

that we are loving and compassionate even we don't feel like that sometimes;

that we are beautiful and wonderful even we have doubts from time to time;

that we are much loved and blessed even that seems not the case right now ... 

Almost miraculously,

things will be moving and changing in accordance with

the degrees of our acceptance toward the new reprogramming in our mind-

because just BELIEVING has its immense power and strength!

Gradually we will believe in more and more in ourselves -

that we have the ability to change ourselves and the world around us;

that we have the power to create any reality as we desire!

You may call it that is the manipulation of the mind-

but to me, that IS a pretty intelligent one!

Mind

As we think, we are;

As we think, we become;

As our mind moves, our outer world manifests;

As our mind stills, our inner world expands.

When we are looking at a butterfly-

are we really looking at the butterfly

or merely at the thought of a butterfly?

When we are doing what we are doing–

are we enjoying what we are doing

or merely because we are expected by the others so?

When we are judging at someone being-
Christian, Buddhist , Jew or Muslim;
black, white or yellow;
left, right or feminist...

is the judgement coming really out of ourselves

or is it merely the collective judgement mimics

because we are merely the products of our social environments ?

When we are angry with our children or partner-

is the anger coming from the real place

or it is merely the auto play of the old patterns programmed

by our own parents earlier? ……

Thus, be aware of the traits of the mind!

Yet, as drugs can either cure us or kill us;

Yet, as money can either be used for good or for bad causes;

So can human mind shift between the heaven and the hell 
just in a split second!

As it is said in Bhagavad-Gita6.6 

'For the one who has conquered the mind,

the mind is the best friend of his;

For the one who has failed to do so,

His very mind will be his greatest enemy.’

   

As the mastery of one’s mind is being progressed,

the cravings in the mind will be gradually lessened or emptied;

the ego-based or fear-based mind will be gradually conquered or totally dropped;

But sadly in this world man-

the businessmen don’t like the mind without cravings- less business;

the powerful men don’t like the mind without fear- less controlling;

Thus, the idea of mastering one’s own mind seems a bad idea to many!

Thus, those who have actually conquered their minds -

have always been unappreciated or misunderstood during their time:

their looks were judged being too ordinary or un-Godlike;

their behavior was criticized being unsophisticated and unrefined;

and their words of truth were too un-smooth to the ears,

too hurtful to those small minds and the big egos!

So those awaken and the wanting-to-be-awakened ones,

Please choose to follow the ones only-

who have dropped all their social masks and have come through the Maya illusions;

Please choose to follow the ones only-

who have mastered their own minds and live by their true nature;

Please choose to follow the ones only-

who can wake you up from your sound sleep and your unconscious existence;

Please choose to follow the ones only-

who have shown you the way yet shy away from any credit from you…

Otherwise it is better to go your own way!

(Instead of falling into another man’s ego traps in the name of whatsoever!)

As the whole world can be reflected in a grain of sand,

So can the highest truth be hidden in the most ordinary things

if we don’t let our mind get in the way!

Here, I recall a little story in Zen Buddhism:

Once an enlightened master was asked about –

what he was going to do after his enlightenment.

He answered:

‘Before the enlightenment,

I chop the wood,

I carry the water;

After the enlightenment,

I chop the wood,

I carry the water…’

His answer has never ceased to bring the smile upon me…

Living with Imperfections

Man consider himself the master of the nature-
he gives names to plants and categorizes them;

he gives different values to different flowers;

he favors orchid over dandelion-

because in his eyes one is less beautiful,

less perfect than another…

While in the world of nature,

each flower and each plant is unique

and perfected in its own right!

Though every man is made in a perfect and unique way,

On the way of growing into a man accepted by the society ,

she/he has been reminded constantly that-

she/he is not good enough;

she/he is not smart enough;

she/he is not handsome/beautiful enough…

Thus, she/he desperately looks for ways

to hide or to destroy her/his imperfections

in order to become the ‘perfect one’ in other’s eyes!

Thus, the cosmetic empires, fashion industries are invented in the need of tempting to fix one's inner lackings;

Thus, plastic surgeries; psychological therapist and priests etc are in great demand as well…

The society of man is not designed for one to feel free and perfect-

because no business, no industry or no religion will be needed

if every man feels great and perfect from inside out!

Thus, I always have great respect for those   

who are resilient towards the collective influences upon her/him;

who can unapologetically be herself/himself,

and comfortable in her/his own imperfections!

As a spiritual seeker,

Knowing myself have been so much conditioned during my own growth –

by my own parents and all the people in my life;

Knowing my way of thinking have been so much stamped and conformed-

with the cultures and ideologies which have been exposed to me;

Knowing this will always be my battle in identifying-

between the ‘collective truth’ and the 'universal truth'!

between the unconsciousness and consciousness!
between the ego self and the higher self(soul aspect)!

between the light and the darkness!

Often those inner battles become more vividly 
and intensified during my meditation sessions,

because there I try to surrender myself to be just a passive watcher-

Watching my own imperfections magnified before me;

Watching my perfect image being torn apart ;

Watching my pathetic ego being shattered into pieces;

Watching my cowardliness tempting to look for excuses;

Watching my anger and guilt boiling in my vein;

Watching me drowning and rising in the sea of my own emotions-

or choked into unconsciousness;

or being brought back by the light and love 
over and over again

……

If it is the imperfection that make a man human,
Why are we so obsessed with the man-made perfections?!

Why do we do this to ourselves?!

Why do we do this to each other?!
Why are we so hopelessly slaved by our pathetic ego
even knowing so much of our pain originated from there?!
......

If we can not even live with our imperfections,

how will we be able to tolerant others’ imperfections?!

If we can’t even accept and love ourselves in totality,

how will we be able to love one another unconditionally?!

Real perfection can’t be made in any artificial ways,

it only happens naturally and effortlessly 
in the presence of LOVE!

So this is not only my battle but yours as well!

Let's stop torturing ourselves and each other;
Let's embrace our imperfections and the other's;
Let's forgive and love;
Let's live with our imperfections 
with faith but without fear!
......

You will be surprised-

we can be so much more human and so much more lovely

just because of those imperfections of ours!

Love in disguise

Water was flowing downstream humbly in its course, 

or going straight forward; 

or bending around bigger objects…

A big stone at its path started to laugh: ‘ You are such a coward! 

Look at me, so strong and so unbendable!’

Water answered with her silent smile and just kept flowing as she always does- 

or running straight ahead or bending around the big objects…

Many many years has passed. 

That big stone is no longer that big stone. 

The edges have been reshaped and rounded; 

most of it all it has been cut through in the middle by the weak water! …

Thus, the softness has the power of overriding the hardness;

Thus, we shall never underestimate –

the softness has its strength in its ‘weak’ disguise!

Often we are made to believe-

the more we possess whatever they are: house, car, cloth etc.

the more successful we are meant in the other’s eyes;

the happier we will be and the merrier our life will become!

Thus we fill up our house with furnitures, electronic gadgets;

paintings, books , expensive oriental silk carpets

and all the things we think necessary;

Then we spend time polishing our furnitures;

keeping renew on our electronic gadgets;

dusting our paintings and books;

taking care of our expensive oriental silk carpet…

After we have spent so much time and energy in protecting our assets;

they are becoming increasingly more important to us;

and we are becoming more and more afraid of losing them…

So we buy insurance; arrange security system around the house;

hiding the valuables in Swiss bank…

Then our sleep is broken,

because we are too worried that someone might steal them away from us;

Then our peace is disturbed,

because we can't trust people anymore- are they for me or for the wealth?

Don’t you also see how hypocrisy we are?!

Don’t you also see how slaved we have become of our own possessions?! ...

Have we all forgotten the old wisdom saying?!

‘...The usefulness of a cup doesn’t lie in its form,

but in its empty space which holds within...’

As a house need empty space to make a home instead of a staffed warehouse;

As we humans need empty space between each other to keep the peace;

As our mind need empty space for returning to our natural status of creativity…

Thus, emptiness has its wonderful usefulness in disguise!

A mother say to her children:

‘You eat first! I am not hungry.’ even though she is;

A father says to his son:

‘ Take my jacket! I am not cold. ’ even though he shakes like leaves;

Parents say to their grown-up daughter:

‘Go and chase your dream! Don’t worry about us, we will be fine!’

after she has left they wait by the telephone daily

hoping the next call would come from their dearest daughter…

A man who is diagnosed with deadly cancer breaks up with his girlfriend:

‘ I don’t love you anymore. Please leave! ’ 

afterwards he would watch her walking out of his life 

with a total broken heart but also with his full blessings

…...

Have I become more of traditionalist?

Or has the world become more of a stranger place ?...

Today’ love is louder than ever, faster than ever, yet more superficial than ever;

Behind their steamy love, there are filled with egoistic and selfish agendas;

Behind the veil of their love, there are troubled and unhealed souls;

Thus, they are controlling and ‘consuming’ each other in the name of love!

......

I have been searching and I have been touched over and over again

by those insignificant yet significant clues of true love...

they can be so subtle yet so incredible beautiful;

they can be even so vulnerable yet so true to the hearts;

they are indeed real diamonds hidden and disguised in sand!

In life we are naturally drawn towards pleasant people,

and naturally withdraw from the unpleasant people.

As we can learn about kindness from the kind people;

As we can learn about love from the lovable people;

we can learn pretty much about ourselves from the difficult people!

As their existence is served as valuable opportunities for us

-to face our innermost ‘demons’;

-to force us out of our comfort zone;

-to break through from our old thinking pattern or old life style;

-to learn about ourselves and to cultivate our inner strength…

Thus, through tears and sweats of dealing with them-

we may gain the profound learning experiences which we would not otherwise;

Thus, through errors and trials of dealing with them-

we may gain some catalytic revelations which we would not otherwise!

Thus, when we encounter such a nightmare person next time,

Don’t just run away from him/her as fast as you can,

He/she might be your blessing in disguise!