Just Surviving

Before I met you,

Love was just words.

Before I knew my Self,

I was just an imitator.

Before I understood life,

I was just surviving.

Half Full Glass

There are some-

 who weep for their only half full glasses

There are some-

 who rejoice for their still half full glasses

Weeping or rejoicing -

has nothing to do with the fullness in the glass

but it has everything to do-

 with the minds behind the glasses...  

Winter goes and comes.

It is a Christmas again.

You came to me in tears-

Last Christmas he was still with you

 and this year he is no more…

All the sweet promises seem to have disappeared-

 in the cold wind without any traces;

You are left with nothing 

but those unfulfilled dreams and a broken heart;

And you say,

you would never be happy again without him …

Time can heal everything, my friend.

Sun is still rising, with or without him;

Moon is still shining, with or without him;

Earth is still rotating, with or without him;

Your happiness has nothing to do with him,

or anybody or anything;

but has everything to do with how you CHOOSE to feel!

 So please my friend,

why settle for the crumbs of love from the others

if you yourself can be the source of all the love you desire;

why cry over a withering bush

if you still have a whole garden to attend ;

When your garden is-

 filled with blossoming flowers and sweet fragrance,

what's the need even to worry about-

 if there are enough bees around?! ...

So please my dear friend,

Let's choose love over hatred

even our glasses are only half full ;

Let's choose joy over sadness,

even our glasses are completely empty; 

Because who knows,

now the room which has been freed up -

can fill up with something even better and greater

......

Love and Hate

Oh, how much I have hated my parents-

for their worldly shrewdness;

for having us carry over their own desires and guilt;

We were lost all together like blind led by the blind…

Yet, how much I love my parents-

for having the opportunity to manifest my life through them;

for having shared their sufferings and ignorance-

so to kindle my desire of wanting to be freed from -

the sufferings and ignorance...

Oh, how much I have hated this body of mine -

for its vulnerability and its limitations

for the disbelief of such a greatness,

such an intelligence dwelling in a such poverty …

Yet, how much I love this body of mine –

for my ears can hear the songs echoing within the deep forest;

for my feet can feel the tickles of the sand, the caressing of the sea;

for my face can sense the warm glow from the first ray of the morning sun;

for my heart can throb the beautiful melodies

when you take me into your arms…

Oh, how much I have hated this world-

for its hypocrisy and its unfairness;

for its greediness and its unconsciousness-

People die as if they have never lived;

People live as if they have never died…

Yet, how much I love this world-

for the small dewdrops glittering in the sunlight beautifully;

for the maple leaves turning into flamingo red magically;

for the delicious smell of newly brewed coffee filling up my room slowly;

for the good laughs with those dear friends of mine;

for the small kindness shown by some passing-by strangers;

for the desire of seeing your sweet smile

as soon as I open my eyes in the morning…

Oh, how silly of me-

have spent years in loving this and hating that;

then again, how silly of me -

have spent years at war with myself for loving this and hate that!

Oh, how silly of me-

for not understanding both my love and my hate 

are of the same ONE energy within me!

Whenever I deny my hate,

I deny my love as well;

Whenever I deny the intensity of my hate,

I deny the intensity of my love as well…

Those weak people-

who neither dare to love nor to hate,

so they love lightly and hate lightly;

Those passionate souls-

who can neither love lightly nor hate lightly ,

whatever they do they do with their intensity-

they can't be any other way.

Therefore, 

One can only love/hate as one's energy allows;

However, 

Energy has to be expressed by moving-

(standing still leads to stagnation)

Or moving from love to hate,

Or moving from hate to love …

Thus,

One has to take the full responsibility

for one's energy manifestation-

or moving little closer towards love, joy and light;

or moving little closer towards hate, suffering and darkness;

There is no such a thing as victim of the outer forces 

but there is everything to do with one's own making here...

As were repeated in my dreams,

I watched my self leaving my body -

soaring through the endless clouds in the sky;

venturing into the dangerous uncharted seas;

standing on the mountain tops laughing loudly-

at the drama plays of my chosen;

at this whole absurdity of separation 

between love and hate!

……

Way of the Warriors

She says:

‘My beloved master,

When there was nobody saw me,

you saw me;

When there was nobody understood me,

you understood me…’

The master replies:

‘If you aren't seeking yourself,

you won’t find me even I am sitting next to you;

If you aren't ready yourself,

You won’t be able to understand me 

even I am trying to explain to you…

We are merely mirroring each other,

like the moon is reflected in the lake.

If the water is not clear enough, still enough,

the moon wouldn't be seen so beautifully …’

She says:

‘My beloved master,

you have taught me about the fine swordsmanship.

What if , I fail to defeat the other swordsmen,

will I bring the shame upon your name?’

The master replies:

’Wining and losing is the game for the fools.

I have no name which you can bring the shame upon-

I come from the nameless ;

and I shall return to the nameless.

A great name may serve a great deal to a false master

but serves nothing to a real master!’

She says:

‘My beloved master,

Why have you been so emphasizing on-

A man must place his/her mind/heart in the right place first

before walking on the path the warriors?’

The master replies:

‘If an ill -hearted man learns about the martial way,

he/she may bring misfortunes and destructions to the others;

If a mediocre man learns about the martial way,

he/she may use the name of the warriors as his/her trophy;

But if a man with right mind/heart learns about the martial way ,

he/she may strive himself /herself towards the righteous way –

for serving the good

for honoring the courageous 

other than his /her trifle self interests;

Thus, only a man of such is fitted to be a true warrior;

only a warrior of such can truly protect and sustain life

even he/she is a man who carries the sword…’

She says:

‘My beloved master,

how shall I NOT fear for death?

how shall I be courageous 

when someone is pointing the chilly sword blade at my heart…?!’

The master replies:

‘When a warrior accepts his/her death,

it is not because he/she doesn't want to live;

it is not even because he/she is unafraid;

it is because, they know in their hearts-

There is a kind of death worse than the physical death- 

the death of one’s spirit!

Knowing the danger yet keeping forward is the way of warriors ;

Knowing the pain yet swallowing away the tears is the way of the warriors;

Knowing the death approaching yet not yielding is the way of the warriors;

…...

Legend says, in the kingdom of the warriors,

Unless all the fears are known to your mind and to your heart,

you won't be able to enter the kingdom of the true warriors;

you won't be able to have the companionship of 

the bravest and the most compassionate hearts…’

She says:

‘My beloved master,

would you say that the way of the warriors -

still have its place in today’s society?’

The master replies:

‘If an old way can still serve you good-

Take advantage of it even though the others ridicule it;

If an old way can no longer serve you good-

Discard it no matter how highly it was regarded once;

Consistency without flexibility is just rigid foolishness,

Flexibility without consistency leads nowhere either!

The way of the warriors -

is NOT just the way for the battlefields during the war times,

it is also the way of life! ’

Soul Attraction

              My daughter is entering the teens’ world. I have noticed that she is getting more and more conscious about her looks and her changing body: The time she spends in the bathroom is getting annoyingly longer and longer; the images of her idols are filling up her room; her moods are changing faster than the Göteborg’s weather… A few days ago she came home from school and looked low. First she refused to say anything to me but went directly into her room. I waited, knowing she would be back soon.

            ‘Mum, do you think I am pretty enough?’ She looked at me half seriously, then lowered her voice, ‘ I think my face is not pretty enough, and my breasts are not big enough… the girls in my class have already boyfriends…’

         ‘My silly girl,’ I took her into my arm, ‘ I think you are pretty enough; and don't worry, you are going to get your breasts and your boyfriend... '

           She didn’t look assured at all. I could read what was going on in her mind. It can’t be easy  for any young girl like her to navigate in this complex world with the enormous amount of information, impressions and opinions streaming their way 7/24, via the people around them like friends, parents, teachers etc., via Facebook/ Instagram / TV  the various media channels etc.… How can we know the real intentions behind any given opinions or ideas? How can we see through the hidden agendas behind the information coming our way? Have we questioned about how the social collective behaviors are influencing our behaviors as an individual? Have we ever doubted about own thoughts if it is originated from our own mind or from the others?... I am sure that we all have experienced things like this:  You may think that you have not been paying attention to the advertisement about Colgate toothpaste on TV every night, yet by the time you are standing in the shop facing many different toothpaste brands, you would most likely choose Colgate, just because it sounds familiar somehow… Isn’t it a bit frightening how easily our mind can be manipulated, on many conscious or unconscious levels?!

              My dear, as you are getting more interested in your appearance and your attractiveness, i think it is time that we can take a closer look at this whole attraction thing together. Attractiveness is a very subjective thing: What is attractive to one person doesn’t mean attractive for another; what is considered beautiful in one place/during one period doesn’t automatically make it beautiful in other places/during other periods. So there is NO such thing as THE ‘Beauty Mode’. For example, in the old days in China, the ladies with smaller feet were considered beautiful and sexy. So many young girls at their early ages were forced to have their feet bones broken and bandaged tightly all together going through the excruciating pain  … in the end those girls got their desired small feet but they could hardly walk anymore… Do you see how absurd we can be, in the name of beauty or attraction?! Today we are living in a so called modern society, however it seems that we haven’t learnt smarter: Just look around, every day how many girls/ladies around the world are cutting up their faces/bodies going through the pain in order to look attractive for the others?! Some years' ago I was surprise by how many Chinese ladies are flying to Korea for reconstructing their eastern faces western, to make their small lips fuller like Angelina Jolie, due to the Hollywood influences? Yet, Can you imagine some centuries ago, the small lips were worshiped among many Asian ladies? It was said that a small mouth was synonym of great seduction... So, when you desire to be on the top of your appearance, may I ask which trend, which beauty mode shall you follow then? Shall you make your lips fuller first, then smaller some years later? Think about this: If, all the girls have got fuller lips, you don't think that the small lips will be back in fashion in no time?! That is how the mechanism of the business works- always feeding onto people’s unfulfilled dreams and desires...

              Who knows? Maybe one day in the future, physical attractiveness will be less interesting factor for measuring one’s attractiveness. Allow me think it aloud:  What if , the human's collective consciousness has raised to such a height; the knowledge about the quantum physics and the energy science has been generally understood and applied to such a degree; energy(aura) readings from the human's energy body, or you call it- the electromagnetic field become such a norm for the human society-since everything is some form of energy and vibration, from your thoughts to your emotions etc., which means the aura can very well reflect the vibration of one's soul... Edgar Cayce said once:... As the souls of individuals travel though the realms of being they shift and change their patterns as they use or abuse the opportunities presented to them. Thus at any time, a soul will give off through vibrations the story of itself and the condition in which it now exists. If another consciousness can apprehend those vibrations and energies, they will be able to understand the status of her/his being , or the progress she/he has made... I guess, by that time, since any physical beautification will have little effect in hiding one's true soul color, thus most likely, the beautiful aura emitted naturally from a beautiful soul will be most admired and sought after... 

           ‘ Wouldn’t that be COOL?’ I asked my girl enthusiastically.

           ‘No, mum!’ My teenage daughter shook at her head giving a look at her ‘crazy’mother...

           Well, as I am writing right now, another interesting aspect comes to my mind- In the rich Chinese vocabulary there are many ways to describe a beautiful girl for example: good looking, pretty, beautiful, sexy etc., but there is  another unusual expression - ‘气质(which means literately, Qi quality)’. It is supposed to be difficult to describe that kind of attractiveness : It is said in this world, there are many many pretty and sexy girls, but very few with attractive Qi Quality; it was said one's Qi quality can improve with the growth of the soul; it was said that a good Qi quality can seem subtle yet so penetrating to any soul who she is in touch with; it was said that she , whopossesses that kind of Qi quality, is like an ancient Chinese poem - the more you chew it, the more fragrance it will bring forth to you…

            Unfortunately I don’t think that kind of subtle beauty is as much appreciated in our modern times. Today’s taste is all about the sexual attractiveness- the bolder and the louder the better; the more revealing and the more direct the more attractive it is. I don’t want to go into that, you probably know what I mean anyway. Well, my concern is: wherever the attention is placed, energy moves there- when we place too much attentions on our sexual attractiveness and sexual performances, our two lowest energy centers which govern survival instincts and reproduction will be most activated, like most of the animals do. To me, it would be such a huge waste not to try to have the other five less material energy centers activated as much, since we human beings are blessed (or cursed)with the mind, which have the great potential transform our grosser energy lighter and move our energy upwards with the workings of our own mind, and our own energy system consciously - that is so called human energy alchemy! I believe, it is within each soul’s designed purpose, through the chosen sojourns,  trying to perfect its souls by refining its soul energy, and by working ultimately towards the compatibility and the final reunion with the ALL-Loving God energy... Yet, quite often for the earthly souls, the pulls from the physical temptations and the worldly influences and conditionings can be so overwhelming, so we keep astray from our intended paths and keep forgetting who we truly are, and our true soul plans…

             One day, hopefully you will understand better what I am talking about, my dear. As all the physical existence being governed by the physical laws has its limitations of time and space. In another words, no matter how pretty your face is; how gorgeous body you have today, it will decay one day… there is no magic face cream nor the most advanced plastic surgery can stop it from happening. So if that is all how you have lived your life-only conscious of your body and only conscious of your physical existence, then you are basically setting yourself for the disappointments in your later years when you can no longer identify yourself with your body attractiveness, or your physical existence... There is a reason why  Taichi master Jason Chan, who I believe,  has pretty good understanding about human energy work said something like this once: When someone tries too much to impress you with her/his sexual attractiveness , do watch out!

              I am not an antique mother. I have no intention of stopping you from experimenting with your physical attractiveness- trying new colors on the hair; trying makeups or clothing to maximize your feature…I get it, it can be fun, plus it is your birthright as a girl! I enjoy beautiful clothing and trying new staffs myself as well. Just keep in mind, that the aesthetic taste expressed through your physical existence can serve only as one small aspect of your soul expressions, there are more to it-discover them!... Let me put it in this way: You were  passing by a bookstore, your eyes got really caught by a book displayed at the window. You thought to yourself: What a beautiful cover that book has! It must have a beautiful and exciting story inside… Then you bought that book home and started reading, but to your disappointment, the story was boring and unimaginative, so in the end you never finished that book… I hope you will never become such a book – only attractive on the outside but not attractive inside! Because, even the physical attractiveness can work to your advantage initially , it can only work to the certain degree, and it is just matter of time the initial excitement (no matter how perfect that face/body is)  will become boring if there is nothing more to its 'fasade',  that is simply human's nature…

           But please don’t get too discouraged now, my dear. There is another kind of attraction, which operates totally different from the physical attraction, is called the soul attraction. Since that level of attraction comes from the deep within one’s soul, it has the potential to grow stronger and shine brighter with the growth of the soul towards its own perfection...  If you want to get a taste that kind of timeless attraction in your lifetime, you better start with yourself NOW! Though, you may still get lost or frustrated from time to time, try not to let anyone tell you that you are not good enough; pretty enough; smart enough or fast enough anymore! Keep working with reconnecting with your soul, your center, your innermost being, you will know for yourself that just YOU are more than enough!

         My dearest, as the deeper you are connected with your soul aspect, the better your soul will be able to guide you on your intended path; the more you are centered in your true being, the less you will be concerning about what the others think of you or expect of you; the more you have learned to love and accept yourself unconditionally, the better you will be able to resist against the worldly influences and conditionings, the more natural you will become; In your natural state of being, you will be able to blossom in your uniqueness and to bring forth your very flavor to the world, to the people around you. You don't need to be Emily Browning or the princess of Sweden, the attractiveness emanating from the beautiful and unique soul energy of yours will be deadly irresistible anyway! 

If there were Maybe

                                                                               Maybe

I had to be foolish enough

to lose you first,

in order to realize -

how much you are meant for me

Maybe

I had to get fed up with -

keeping running away from myself first,

in order to –

get close to my self

 Maybe

I had to be tested -

through various trials and detours first,

in order to –

have my faith strengthened

 Maybe

I had to exhaust myself -

in all the doings and fixings first,

in order to –

appreciate just in being

Maybe

I had to experience necessarily -

the ugliness, the selfishness first,

in order to –

treasure the true beauty 

and the true love

 Maybe

I had to walk through life’s dark valleys

with the dreadful sickness,

the withering youth,

and the fearful death,

in order to –

learn and master the art of letting go

Maybe

I had to make myself aware enough of –

the sufferings and hypocrisies around ,

and the endless sorrow in my own heart first,

in order to –

fire up the desire to heal the others

through healing my own broken heart

 Maybe

I had to get tired of  myself -

carrying those old heavy baggages 

around and around first,

in order to –

be ready to make the space for the new

 Maybe

I had to experience –

the inner unrests and discontents first,

in order to –

open for my soul’s workings

 Maybe

I had to foot thousands miles -

seeking and questioning first,

in order to 'wow' at -

My highest truth is already

within each breath of mine

 Maybe

I had to struggle through life after life

towards my perfection for the worth first,

just in order to –

understand God's grand humor-

Everything is already at its perfect place;

I AM already perfect as I AM

Love Energy

       

               Last week after an interpretation job in Halmstad, I drove my way back to Gothenburg. When I reached the outskirt of the city was rush hour time. The traffic flow was getting especially slower before the Tingstadtunnel as usual, I hoped that it could pick up some speed after the tunnel as it would normally, but not this time, instead it came almost to a complete stop. I had to brake because the big truck in front of me stopped and then maneuvered strangely to the side as if trying to avoid something, even the cars from the other lanes were behaving strangely… The first thought came to me was some accident just happened so I rolled my car slowly and carefully forward, but what I saw next was totally unexpected- In the middle of the road there were an army of ducks trying to cross the motorway! It looked like the mummy duck was leading the way, and the little ones were following tightly behind their mum, completely unaware of this suicidal crossing with the jungle of the running cars! … I looked at those cute yellowish ducks and gasped: This motorway has 3 lanes on each side, it seemed those ducks somehow had managed to cross the lanes of dense traffic without being smashed! People or stopped or slowed down or carefully have their cars maneuvered around the ducks, or waited patiently for them passing…  Something warm was streaming through my heart: It may seem to be of little significance to have those small duck lives helped , but to me, the act of the kindness, no matter how small it is, it has always its significance! Just because of the small kindness like this, it makes human’s life more worth of living...

            Until today the eastern concept of Chi(energy) remains mysterious to many western minds, and the energy work remains unfamiliar to many, except for a few energy scientists; quantum physicians; martial artist or a few Qigong practitioners, meditators who have gained some degrees of understanding of this mysterious yet most common thing in our life- energy (Chi). As Albert Einstein says: ‘ Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you can not help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.’ I have no intention to argue if energy is matter of philosophy or physics. It is not important. The importance is that everything in the universe is indeed energy and vibrations, though each with different energy composition and vibration frequency - from a flower to a rock; from an animal to a human being; from a pictures to a music; from a word to a thought… Yet as always, its love energy has the highest vibration while the energy of hatred or fear has the lowest!

          As you might have known, there is a famous rice experiment conducted by Dr. Masaru Emoto. He divided the cooked rice into 2 different jars and labeled respectively with ‘I love you’ and another with ‘I hate you’. 30 days later, the jar labelled with ‘ I love you’ was barely changed while the one labelled with ‘ I hate you’ became moldy and rotten! 

          Thus, LOVE is a universal language, it can be understood even without words: you can understand it in the eyes of a mother looking at her baby; you can understand it at the touches between the lovers; you can understand it through the gestures of kindness… Even you may not have any grasp of the energy concept, you can still understand the love and feelings derived from different energy bodies: For example, when you are with a certain person, you kinda feel like your energy being drained and left you feel heavy and fatigue; while there is another person you have experienced- whenever she he enters the room, your spirit and the others in the room get uplifted, as if there is something special about her/him that draws people like magnet without even knowing , and you have always felt comforted and happier in and after her/his presence …

          There are subtle energy exchanges happening constantly, though we have too little knowledge or too little awareness about it, yet it has greater-than-we think influences on our lives on many conscious and unconscious levels. With this kind of flowing energy interactions, we are being constantly influenced and influencing the other energy bodies around us... there is not a single energy entity can exist by itself, all the energies are here for playing, like an eternal dance waltzing in and waltzing out, with no beginning nor ending…

          If we humans can response to energies in such a way; if the rice can response to love in such a way; there is not hard to understand that all the things in the natural worlds can response in such a way, including the vegetation and animals. If we take a look at the food on our table: Before the vegetables are served, they have absorbed the energies from the sun, the earth, the rain, the various elements in the nature, but they have also absorbed the energies from the humans who have grown them… and so it is with animals. If an animal has been treated badly and been slaughtered brutally, there must be some tremendous negative energy resided in their flesh, and when they become food and their energies will be transformed into our human bodies… Though today there are not much concrete scientific proofs saying how energy is transformed from one entity to another and how energy health is linked to human’ health physically, mentally and even spiritually. I believe it will be much known in the future generations. Since energy can never die but be transformed, so everything goes around comes around!

           Once I was told about the myth of God-creation, how Adam and Eve were tempted by a serpent and ate the forbidden fruit, then they were banished from the Garden of Eden… At the time I thought it was ridiculous that the grownups are trying to fool each other with a story meant for a five-year-old- ...until a bit later when I rediscovered their hidden meanings by interpreting them as metaphorical form instead of the tangible fact-based form, then all the myth tales started to become more fascinating to me… in this case, I would prefer to interpret this myth as - Once we all came from the pure and the perfected energy- only knowing love and goodness...until we have experienced all kinds of ‘serpent’s temptations’during our physical incarnations- so we have learned about the physical sensual pleasures and indulgences; so we have learnt about the evils and sufferings; so we have learnt about egos and separations... without the guidance of our higher self, without knowing our true spirit, our energy started to flow downwards, gravitating toward the root chakra center which majorly focus on physical survival and existence(what a tremendous waste of the other energy centers embodied in human beings?!); and all the negative emotional energies we have inherited or developed during our lifetimes will consequently cause our vibrations falling lower and lower… If it is said that we humans can’t return to the ‘ Garden of Eden’, it is not because there are the ruthless Gods guarding the gate and keeping human beings out, but because our own energy level and our vibrations are no longer compatible with the God energy and the highest vibration of love!

          Just like it is important to improve our physical health by cutting down the junkie food, so it is with the heath of our energy body - by cutting down the energy junkies, both outside and inside us; by guarding what we say, what we do and how we think etc.; by letting the negativeness through us without judging or condemning… And it will surely get easier and more natural, once this conscious effort being accepted by our subconscious.

            I remember at first when I made my conscious decision to be a vegetarian, the initial idea was more of that I felt sorry for the animals... but after many years of not consuming meat products, to my own surprise that my physical health has improved incredibly ( If I would look at the past 10 years, I can hardly recall when was my last time with even a bad cold… which it is incredible in itself because I had been always sick throughout my entire childhood!) It may be left for further discussions if this is credited only to the change of my diet or not, but I have been more aware of and more sensitive towards the fluctuations of my own energy - like certain food ( especially the meat products)are simply no longer compatible with my system… thus it has become more natural and more effortless for me to be a vegetarian, without struggle or the sense of sacrificing... I assume that energy works the similar way: Once you start to work with your own energy, your awareness and sensitivity of energy inside you and around you will be increased gradually; then it will be easier for you to catch up the clues of the negative energies arising inside or outside of you; then it will be easier for you to redirect the energy consciously towards love and the other positive energies… As whatever you turn your intention away from, that energy will be weakened; as whatever you turn your attention towards, that energy will be strengthened …

           I remember a story about the legendary Kongfu master Xi Hezi- when he was a young man that he told people that he was going to master an impossible Kongfu technique called ‘One-Finger-Energy-Punch’, of course everyone laughed at him. But 40 years later, his one finger punch could even penetrate the brick wall! Just imagine, how powerful that would be if we can focus our life energy only on love!... So let us focus on love and extend kindness to the others and ourselves, no matter how insignificant it may seem, and let us be one who can truly radiate this kind of loving energy into the world: to the flowers; to the trees, to the rocks; to the insects; to the animals; to the stars and to the people… I believe, by being such a human being will make you truly the KING of your own kingdom in the end!